Emergency Valentine’s ‘card’ courtesy of jelly

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For anyone reading this, or anyone male, there’s a good chance you forgot that today was Valentine’s Day until, to your horror, the girl on the neighbouring desk gloatingly waved in your face the dozen overpriced roses and box of cheap chocolates that her present-minded (new) boyfriend sent this morning (he seemed like a creep when you met him, remember?).

Now you have two options.

A: Scour the shops at lunchtime and suffer the humiliation of people

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